PAUL SPEAKS OF MARRIAGE

Dr. W. A. Criswell

I Corinthians 7:1-40

10-02-55

 

Now, in our preaching through the word, we are in the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians.  And you may turn to that chapter, which is one of the most difficult in the Bible.  And there are some things in this chapter that are astonishing.  And we shall look at them tonight.  Now, we shall read almost all the chapter, and it is a long one, but I don’t know how to do this without reading the Word—the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians.  The last sermon was on the sixth chapter, and now this is the seventh one:

Now, concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me.  It is good for a man not to touch a woman,

Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. 

Let the husband render unto his wife due benevolence and likewise, also, the wife unto the husband. 

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 

Defraud you not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 

But I speak this by permission and not of commandment. 

For I would that all men were as I myself.  But every man hath this proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 

I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them to abide even as I. 

But if they can not contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 

And unto the married, I command you, not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from the husband:

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife. 

But, to the rest, speak I, not the Lord, If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 

And the woman which hath a husband who believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean—illegitimate—but now are they holy. 

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.  A brother and a sister is not under bondage in such cases.  but God hath called us to peace…

But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk.  And so ordain I in all the churches. 

Is any man called being circumcised?  let him not become uncircumcised.  Is any man called in uncircumcision, let him not be circumcised. 

Circumcision is nothing, uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 

Let every man abide within the same calling wherein he was called. 

Art thou called, being a slave, care not for it; but if thou mayest be free, use it rather. 

For he that is called in the Lord, being a slave, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s slave. 

You are bought with a price; be not ye the slaves of men. 

Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. 

Now, concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 

I suppose that is therefore, that this is good for the present distress, I say, that is good for a man, so to be. 

Art thou bound unto a wife?  seek not to be loosed.  Art thou loosed from a wife?  seek not a wife. 

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned: and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.  Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I’ll spare you. 

But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that had wives be as though they had none. 

And they that weep, as though they weep not; and they that rejoice as though they rejoice not: and they that buy, as though they possess not. 

And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

But I would have you without carefulness.  He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. 

But he that is married, careth for the things of the world, how he may please his wife. 

There is difference between a wife and a virgin.  The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy, both in body and in spirit.  But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 

And this I speak for your own profit: not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely and that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction [1 Corinthians 7:1-35]. 

 

Well, what do you think of that?  What if you had to get up here and preach a sermon on that?  Well, I am just like you are.  You just read all that and I will say, “I’ll say.”  But as you pray about it and study it and prepare concerning it, there is a revelation—a truth, a great deliverance from God, in this chapter—about us and our lives that all of us ought to know.  So we are going to start out on it tonight, and I hope I can make it very plain and simple as we go through this chapter. 

In the application of the principles of the Christian faith to everyday living, these Corinthian Christians found great difficulty.  So they wrote Paul, asking him some questions about how to live the Christian life in this world.  And Paul here is answering some of those questions: “Now, concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me.”  Now, the answers fall into two categories.  The first category concerns instances where he has a clear commandment of the Lord: “Now, this I say, yea, not I, but the Lord says it.”  That is one category.  Now, the other category lies in realms where he says: “I don’t have any commandment of the Lord concerning this, but I give you my judgement.“  For example, in the sixth verse, he says, “I speak this by permission and not of commandment.”  And in the twelfth verse, “but to the rest, speak I, not the Lord.”  In the twenty-fifth verse: “now, concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord, yet I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.”  And the last verse: “she is happier if she so abide single after my judgment, and I think also that I have the spirit of God” [1 Corinthians 7:40].  So in that chapter, now, when Paul says this and this and this about the application of the Christian faith to how we live everyday.  He says, “this is the commandment of the Lord—this is what God says.”  And this other, he will say, “now, this is a matter of Christian prudence, this is what I think—in my judgment—this is what you ought to do.”

Now, there are things like that in all of our lives.  There are things that are eternally right and eternally wrong.  There are things that are immutable and unchangeable.  There are things that pertain to the commandments of God.  And they are settled forever in heaven and in earth.  Then, there are things that pertain to Christian prudence.  There is no particular right, there is no particular wrong—there are just things that, if I do this, these things follow, and if I do that other things follow.  For example, this thing of should I be celibate in my life or should I marry?  Should I stay single, or shall I seek a husband or a wife?  Well, Paul says, you “don’t have any commandment from the Lord either way, so this is my judgment concerning a single life and concerning a married life.” 

Now, those are the two categories in which his answers fall.  Now, let us look at these answers.  Here is a commandment from the Lord about being married, about Christians being married.  About a married man who is a Christian and a married woman who is a Christian:

And unto the married, I command, yet not I, but the Lord.  Let not the wife depart from her husband:

but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.  And let not the husband put away his wife [1 Corinthians 7:10, 11]. 

 

That is a commandment from God.  When two Christian people are married, that marriage is to stay until it is dissolved by death.  That is a final and irrevocable and eternal commandment of the Lord.  Two Christian people to marry—[they] marry for good; they marry for life; they marry until death dissolves that partnership; they are never to break it.  “That is a commandment,” Paul says, “of the Lord.”  That is clear or plain, and you are not to enter it wantonly—foolishly.  When Christian people marry, it is for keeps, it is forever. 

All right, now, there is another category of marriage.  “If a man hath a wife that believeth not”—now you are entering a category of a Christian that is married to a reprobate, or married to a pagan, or married to a heathen, or married to an unbeliever.  Now, what about that?

If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let them dwell together, let him not put her away. 

And the woman, which hath a husband that believeth not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children illegitimate—but your children are not illegitimate, your children—are holy—even though one of you is a Christian and the other is an unbeliever. 

But if the unbelieving brother depart, let him depart—or an unbelieving wife depart, let her depart.  A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God hath called us to peace [1 Corinthians 7:12-15]. 

 

If there is a fine Christian man married to a woman that is not a Christian, he is not bound to live with that woman.  For God hath called us to peace and not forever and eternally to be fighting and feuding and fussing and living in hell and torment.  [It is the] same way about a woman married to a reprobate of a man.  If a woman is married to a reprobate, a heathen, a pagan and they live in misery and in torment and in agony—God hath called us to peace, not to torment and misery and agony—let him depart, let them break up, let them separate.  It is better for the pagan, the unbeliever, to depart, than it is to build a Christian home with a man with whom you can’t build a Christian home.  It is better for the couple to separate.  Now, they don’t have to separate, Paul says: if they are pleased to dwell with one another and one is a Christian and one is a pagan.  They can, in God’s sight, still live together, because, otherwise, their children would be illegitimate.  But their children are not illegitimate, their children are holy.  But if they decide to separate, they are at liberty to separate.  A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.  For God hath called us to peace. 

Every once in a while, I am frank to say, as I said to a mother in the congregation this morning—I said to her, “It is better, this thing that you have done, for to rear your children with a husband like you had would be a sin against those children.”  Do you think it is a blessing to those children to have a father come home and act like some fathers act?  Why, it is a damnation to them.  It is a horror to them.  It is a hurt to them.  It is a whole lot better—I told her this morning, “Take these children of yours, and he is gone, he is forever gone, and keep it that way.  And you take these children down here and you rear them in the love and nurture and admonition of the Lord.  And they will grow up strongly prayed in the Lord Jesus.  And may the Lord pity that reprobate of a husband who is out there, going his way, not loving God, not loving the church, not loving his faithful, Christian wife and not good to those precious little children.”  All right, I didn’t say that.  That is in the Book. 

Now, the next thing that he talks about—and I have had more trouble with this.  I have wrestled more with this thing this week than any thing I have read in the Book in my life.  I am astonished what I find in the Book.  I can hardly believe, sometimes, this thing that I read in the word.  Now, listen to this: every Christian is to abide where he was—wherein God has called him [1 Corinthians 7:20].  For the Christian faith is not a program for social amelioration, or social revolution.  Christianity does not deal with externals, but internals—not, with a man’s outside, but with his inside. 

Now, you look here, three times, in this little passage, Paul will say—now listen in verse 17, verse 20 and verse 24—now, listen at Paul: “As God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk, so ordain I all the churches” [1 Corinthains 7:17].  Now—the same thing again: “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called” [1 Corinthians 7:20].  All right, the twenty-fourth verse: “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God” [1 Corinthians 7:24].  Then he illustrates it.  He illustrates it first, ecclesiastically, religiously.  Here in the eighteenth verse now:

If any man called being a Jew [circumcised], let him not become a Gentile [uncircumcised].  Is any man called, being a Gentile [uncircumcised], let him not become a Jew [circumcised]. 

A Jew [circumcision] is nothing, and a Gentile [uncircumcision] is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 

Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.  [1 Corinthians 7:18-20] 

 

Well, what do you think about that?  Suppose one of these Jewish men were to come down the aisle and say to me, “Preacher, I want to take the Lord Jesus as my Savior and I want to be baptized and I want to be a member of this church.” Paul says, he can still remain a Jew and still be a Christian.  He can be both.  If he was a Jew, and he became a Christian, let him stay a Jew, let him stay a Jew. 

Well, I got to thinking about that.  My, my—these things you read in the Book.  I got to thinking about that and I turned my mind back to those people in the Bible.  Paul—Paul was a Christian, but to the day that he died, he was a Jew.  At Caesarea—Corinth is right here, Caesarea is right there—the Eastern seaport town, oh six miles over there.  At Caesarea, he shaved his head according to a Jewish vow.  And he went up to the Temple in Jerusalem and he paid off that vow with those other Nazarites—paying for himself the offering—and those other Nazarites. 

You will read in Josephus about the pastor of the First Baptist Church in Jerusalem—James the Lord’s brother.  You will read, in Josephus, that that James, who was the pastor of the First Baptist Church in Jerusalem, was one of the most devout and zealous and faithful people of all the Jews who lived in Jerusalem.  And yet, he was pastor of that church, the first one in Jerusalem.  You will also read that because Timothy had a Jewish mother and his father was a Greek.  Because of that conflict, when the Greeks looked on him they didn’t know whether he was Jewish or Gentile.  And when the Jews looked on him, they didn’t receive him because his father was a Greek.  You will read that Paul took Timothy and circumcised him and presented him as a full-fledged Jew as he presented the gospel of the Son of God. 

Now, the separation between the Jewish faith and the Christian faith did not come because of a pronounced and commanded revolution.  But the separation came because of the difference of our spirit, our inside, our heart.  It arose from the soul of the thing, from the spirit of the thing, from the heart of a thing, from the inside of the thing.  But it did not arise by commandment or by social or ecclesiastical or religious revolution.  It came from the genius of the Christian faith itself.  There was nothing in the Bible about a violent revolution against the Jewish religion that separated Christianity from it.  It was a development of the spirit of the Christian faith, on the inside, in the heart and in the soul. 

Well, if you think that is not enough.  You take the next thing that he takes.  Not only does Christianity have nothing to say about the externals of this thing of religion—being a Jew or being a Gentile—“let every man stay just like he was called” [1 Corinthians 7:20].  You listen again: “let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.”  And now, he illustrates it civilly.  He illustrates it profanely.  He illustrates it secularly—out here in our secular world: “art thou called, being a slave” [1 Corinthians 7:21].  Now, can you imagine that?  The most abominable of all of the institutions of human history is slavery, human slavery.  Why?  These Caesars took their slaves and sometimes, would feed them to the fish just to watch the fish feed on them.  The Caesars would take those slaves and put them in those great amphitheatres and they would fight with live beasts.  And they would fight in gladiatorial combat with one another.  Slavery—slavery in that ancient day was not even like the slavery we knew here in America with our colored people.  It was an abominable institution—worse then anything you could think of.  Now, you listen to this: Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.  Or if thou art called, being a slave, care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, fine, take advantage of it.  But don’t mind it, if you are a slave, think nothing of it.  For he that is called in the Lord, being a slave, is the Lord’s freeman [1 Corinthians 7:22-22].  There may be a manacle on his hands.  He may be tied down with a ball and chain on his feet, but he is a free man because his soul is free, his heart is free, he is the Lord’s freedman.  Likewise, also, he that is called, being free, is Christ’s slave.  If a man is not a slave, if he is a freedman in this world, he is still a slave.  He is a slave of Jesus.  You are bought with a price and you are not to be the slaves of men [1 Corinthians 7:23].  Whether we are a slave in this world, or a freeman in this world, it doesn’t make any difference.  All of us are free in Christ and all of us are the slaves of Christ.  “Brethren, let every man abide in the calling wherein he is called.  Let him abide with God” [1 Corinthians 7:24].  Well, that institution of slavery.  There is not a single syllable in that Book against it—not a one.  Not a one.  Not a one.  And here, Paul says, if you are slave, just remain a slave, it is all right, it’s all right.  Art thou called, being a slave, care not for it.  If thou can be free, use it.  But if you are a slave, think nothing about it. 

And yet, the Christian faith destroyed the institution of slavery.  How did he do it?  The Christian faith did not do it by social revolution, by commandment, but the ransom of human life.  But Christianity destroyed slavery from within, destroyed it from the heart, destroyed it from the soul.  When Paul met Onesimus in the eternal city of Rome, he sent him back to Philemon, his master.  Paul said: Onesimus, you have done wrong, you have escaped from your master.  But you belong to Philemon, your master.  You are his slave.  And Onesimus, you have given your heart to God.  The first thing you have got to do, you have got to go back to Philemon, your master.  You have to go back.  And he put in Onesimus' hand, a letter and sent him clear across the Roman Empire, from [west] to [east].  He sent him all the way from Rome to Colossae, to the Roman province of Asia with that letter in his hand.  But on the inside of that letter was something that destroyed the institution of slavery.  Paul said: Philemon, I am sending him back to you, but you are to receive him, this time, not only as a slave, but you are to receive him as more than a slave, you are to receive him as a brother to love.  And if he owes anything, lay it to my account.  And if he has stolen anything when he ran away, put it on my account.  I, Paul, will repay.  I have written it with my own hand [Philemon 15-19].  That destroyed slavery. 

It is the spirit of the Christian faith.  Work it on the inside of a man’s heart.  That changes life and social institutions and nations and kingdoms and the destiny of humanity.  That is the only way it can ever be changed.  Do you think by legislation and by concordat and by leagues and by all of these outward things you are going to change humanity and its institutions, you are going to ride for failure and disaster.  But if we can change the heart of the soul, we can change the nation and the institution and the life.  Christianity says, it is not the outside of a man, it is the inside.   It addresses itself, not to externals, but to the heart, to the soul. 

Let me illustrate that.  Billy, do you have these choir members take off their jewelry, well, I didn’t know that.  Here I was going to use that for an illustration and they have gone and taken them off.  All right, let us look around us.  Mary, yeah, she’s got them.  Almost every one of these women have something hanging on their ears—almost every one of them. 

All right, I was listening to Lloyd Courter, who had been down in South America on some little islands right off the coast of Colombia.  He was preaching, there, to some aboriginal natives, some South American Indians.  Now, that particular tribe, that particular tribe of Indians, those primitive Indians, those aboriginal Indians down there, all those women, down there, all those primitive women down there wear rings in their noses—just like that.  They all wear rings in their noses.  Well, Lloyd Courter went down there and preached the gospel to those aboriginal Indians with all the women sitting down there in front—with all those women sitting there with rings in their noses.  And God blessed him and they had a great revival.  And they came down the aisle and were saved and they were Christians.  Well, when Lloyd Courter had told that, how God blessed him and how they had come down the aisle and given themselves to Jesus and got right with the Lord—why, one of those women spoke up and said, “Listen, uh, Brother Courter.  Listen, when those women came down the aisle and gave their hearts to Jesus, did they quit wearing rings in their noses?  Did they quit wearing rings in their noses?”

And Lloyd replied, he said, “Well, I don’t know.  I never thought about that.  I don’t know if they quit wearing rings in their noses or not.” But, he says, “What does that have to do with the Christian faith?  What does it matter whether you wear the ring in your nose, or whether you wear it in your ear?”  How many of you women wear a ring in your ear?  Does it keep you from being a Christian to wear a ring in your ear?  Does it keep you from being a Christian to wear a ring in your nose?  Boy, if we could get our women to wear rings in their noses, man, we could lead them around, couldn’t we?  What does it matter whether you dress like a westerner or not, or whether you dress like you do over there in New Orleans—like you do with long sweeping robes? 

Now, may I make one quick comment?  I can’t preach all evening long, I’ve got to quit.  Now listen, may I make one comment?  The one tremendous handicap, and it is a disastrous one, of the Christian mission enterprise of our Southern Baptist Convention is this—that when they go abroad, they are interested in making Americans of the black people in Africa, and out of the yellow people in Japan, as though the Christian faith were identified with our Western American culture.  And it isn’t.  It isn’t.  If a fellow wants to wear pajamas, like they do over there in Cairo, instead of wearing a suit like I have, let him wear pajamas.  It does not make any difference.  It does not make a bit of difference in the world.  And if they want to wear a ring in their nose, or put a bone in their hair up there.  I would just stop at this: I do think that they ought to put a few clothes on in Africa when they go to church.  And they have all agreed on that.  I think that’s all right.  But I would think a fellow would be a Christian and go half-naked even—I believe he could. 

You are not to identify the Christian religion with externals.  You are not to do it.  The Christian faith is a matter of the soul, it is a matter of the spirit.  It is a matter of the heart.  It is a matter of the insides of a man.  And the little key [is] here: “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God” [1 Corinthians 7:24].  There is the key: Let him abide with God.  Let him seek union with God.  Our souls and our hearts and our lives are to be joined to God.  And if a man is committed to God and given to God, all the rest will take care of itself.  You don’t need to worry about that man in the Governor’s chair, in the President’s office, in the house, in the home, in the bank.  If he is given to God, he is all right.  Paul says he is: “Let every man, where he is called, abide with God” 1 Corinthians 7:24]. 

Now, dear people, I have to quit.  But I have just come to the climactic principle that Paul uses for the basis for all this that he says.  I will read it and then I will stop.  It is in the twenty-ninth through the thirty-first verses of the chapter: “But this I say—

This I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth that both they that had wives, be as though they had none:

And they weep as though they weep not; and they that rejoice as though they rejoice not, and they that buy as though they possess not. 

And they that use this world, as not abusing it, for the fashion of this world passeth away [1 Corinthians 7:29-31]. 

 

The great principle that lies back of it all is this—the time is short.  The world and its fashion is passing away.  We are to get ready for the great eternities of God.  Anyway, right with God.  If we are right with God, brother, whether it is long or short, whether I am married or unmarried, whether I am old or young, whether I am rich or poor, those things don’t enter into that great, ultimate assize when I stand before God.  If I am right, i my soul is right, if my heart is right, whether I weep, what does that matter?  Whether I rejoice, what does that matter?  Whether I have anything in this world, what does that matter?  Or whether I have nothing at all, what does that matter, if I am hid with Christ in God? 

Well, we have to quit, but thank the Lord, if He delays His coming, we got another day.  We will be back, looking at the Book, learning once more, what the Lord hath to say.  Now, Billy, let’s sing our song.  And while we sing our song, while we sing our song.  Somebody you—somebody you, give your heart to Jesus.  Give your life to God.  Somebody you, while we sing the song, you come, come.  Anywhere, anywhere, give me your hand.  Come down here and give the pastor your hand.  Preacher, my life I have given to God and I give you my hand.  This is my confession.  This is my committal.  Here I am and here I come, and here is the whole family of us pastor.  We are all coming down here.  We are coming down here.  And as the Lord shall say: Lead the way.